What comes first, Relationship or Sex?

Those days are gone, when we first meet the guy, take two weeks to hold hands, one month to kiss, and after few months of strictly non-sexual romance, we gradually move forward to being physical. Now, it is all about sex. All we seem to care about is deeds and its details. Last month, i read a question by a women on an online dating forum, asking for help because his date hasn’t kissed her on the second date. One of the responses even mentioned the possibility of the man being gay. We measure our relationship status on the level of intensity in sex. One of my friend once told me ‘I will know i love her. only after having sex with her’. Sex is now the ultimate key to ‘find the one’.

We have sex for many reasons, including lust, reliving stress, patching things up or even to remember that person by. These reasons change once we enter into a committed relationship. The number one reason to take things to bed is to convey how much we care about the person, how much we love him. The secondary reason is to stay close to him whereas how good it feels trails to the third place. Relationship changes the definition of sex. As we grow mature, we seems to care about the relationship more even if the sex is weak. This wisdom comes from different experiences and responsible shifts in the priorities. Excellent partnerships doesn’t really implies great sex but surely can increase the possibility of great sex.

It is hard to say where relationship and Sex intersects. There are no rules what comes first. A relationship can fail or succeed either way of course. Its our priorities who decides what we need in our life.

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Defining a relationship

There are about 170000 words in English Language. They add about 1000 entries each year. We have 300 words for a “relationship”. The more words we invent, the harder it becomes to define things. In the world in which you can date without having sex, screw without dating and in the end keep most of your sex partners as friend as long as the screwing is over, What really defines a relationship?

There are two type of men in the dating world. One, who like you, taken you on actual dates, want you to be their girlfriend and lock you down. Other, Who ask you out, who don’t know what they are doing, don’t want to know, screw you over and hop to other. Well if you are looking for a happy relationship, you should loose the second ones as soon as you know they fall in that category.

While, when it comes to defining a relationship it is difficult for the first type of guys as well. Even if he is dying to ask you to date him exclusively, he might have been pulled back by the thought of you responding “Oh already?”. It is incredibly relaxing for a guy to not to handle this topic only by himself. But, Are you interested to make the first relationship move? To ask him straight forwardly to not see other girls. May be you are battling with the same fear of not freaking him out. All you need is a balance and the courage to put it outright. So that you don’t have to say and he don’t have to worry.

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What is the harm in believing

There are approximately 7 billion people on our planet, out of which 10% are those eligible single men who we seek to have connection with. Yet finding the one seems to be a tough journey. After reading a research study done for a novel, i came to know that the average women will kiss 15 men in her lifetime, have sex with 7 different men, enjoy two long-term relationships and have her heart broken twice. Yet 94% of those women believe in true love.

After being in the singles market for 4 years, many ‘men and dates’ and one heart break later i do believe in love.. i still believe he is out there somewhere. It always amazes me, even after being failed in the same path.. we stand over.. and we start our journey yet again. With the same hope and a little more wisdom and we go for it. Why? what keeps us going? That desire of having someone by our side, the desire to feel that warmth and the desire of being secure and finally the desire of the idea of a great happy future.

Well, whatever the reason is.. All we need is to keep believing because what’s the harm in that.

XOXO

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