A better version

The intial stage of dating someone is quite exciting but fragile. He offered you a drink at the bar. You judged him in a glance.. cute, well maintained, nice shoes.. why not. You talked, exchanged numbers, he called and you met. The amazing first dates, those chills of knowing each other for the first time, never ending conversations and a perfect kiss at the end. You came home and a message pops up on your phone screen from him. 

Now the story starts.. The story of fear, fear of loosing him, which turns us mad actually. The person we don’t want to become. He didn’t reply in 10 minutes, why? Is he busy? Is he acting busy? Is he ignoring me? May be he didn’t like the reply? Do i need to send him another message? Why can’t we think like we do when a friend doesn’t reply for a while. Why can’t we think that he may be busy, he will reply as soon as he will get time.

What does he means by that? Why he asked that? How he will interpret my answer? Did he like what i said? Did he like what i did?

Why it is always more complicated in a relationship rather than friendship. Is it so difficult to act normal. The main question is ‘Is it worth it?’. Is the happiness due to his presence really worth the vulnerablity that entered in your life? Do you really like the person you have become?

A relationship is supposed to bring out the best in you. Ask yourself whether this new you is a better version of you?

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With the end entered a new beginning

Well, I am late to state the end of my first tinder experiment. He did call to assure that he will set the time for third date on Sunday. Well the message arrived too but he didn’t, and the worst part I didn’t feel bad. This was the time I knew I have entered to this vicious world of online dating.

We text, flirt, meet, kiss or fuck but are we ready to be in a relationship, or even considering the idea to be in a relationship. Or we are just driven by the infatuation/lust. One of my girl friend once said “I need to have sex on first date to know whether I am going on the second date with him or not.” Sometimes I wonder, whether we are searching for love or a great fuck with a minute possibility of love. We have entered the era where we are so impatient or vulnerable to be physical first even if we want a relationship with the person.

Need for needliness

you feel like you’re in the relationship of your dreams does not necessarily mean he has those, And that lack of neediness for love and lust inevitably puts the man in total control of the relationship – he can’t be thrown off because he gets everything he wants without ever truly putting his heart at risk… She believes that somehow down the line, her love with transform him into the man she sees he was always meant to be… and he’ll realize that he can’t live without her and they’ll be together forever.

All the meanwhile, the guy just treats her like crap, again and again.

She can’t kick him to the curb for acting in a way that she’d normally never tolerate because her feminine desire to nurture this wounded bird back to health is so strong.

Paris makes me happy…!!!

City of love, thats what they call it.. Paris,

but it is far more than that…

The walk around the parisian streets makes me happy,

I feel happy when i see a musician singing his self composed music on a big instrument, i do not even know the name of,

Watching the glittering Eiffel Tower from the ground makes me happy,

Taking a bird’s eye view of the city from Montmarte makes me happy,

I feel content when everyone says Bonjour and Merci for like hundred times a day,

I feel happy when i see loads of people sitting in the garden just because sun is up that day,

I love the city’s architecture,

I love the variety of flowers,

Sitting by the Siene,

Watching wall sized paintings in the Louvre,

Endless choices you have when you shop.. I love the fact that you can never stop shopping here,

Eating fondue with red wine makes me happy,

I feel the love when i see couples walk hand in hand,

I feel happy on the fact that i can kiss on the traffic signal,

The city is beautiful and worth living for once in your life.. ❤️

The Happiness Question!!!

Well oxford defines happiness as the state of being happy, smart people will probably say pleasant emotions.
For me it is the perfect way to live. Happiness is when u see an infant laugh. It is in his little hands. Happiness is ice-cream. It is in the rain. Happiness is mesmerizing mountains, night stars full of blazing stars, chirping birds. Happiness is doing something for others, making a person smile. Happiness is making your parents proud. Happiness is friends, irritating them as much as you can. Happiness is watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Happiness is an irritating brother, who blows your mind off. Happiness is music. Happiness is a good book, you can’t wait to complete. Happiness is lying on bed, doing nothing, saying nothing or even thinking nothing. Happiness is travelling, without telling anyone. Happiness is to be in love or being loved. Happiness is expressing that love, hugging or kissing. Happiness is having the courage to be different. Happiness is positive thinking, appreciate what you have and realizing it is the choice that you can make today.

So tell people to make that choice and BE HAPPY because everyone deserves it.

Tinder – A social experiment

It was not so easy for me to find the courage to go on a date with an unknown guy (in his car) after three lines of conversation consisting only emoticons. Thanks to tinder, we have become so open to go out with random person judging them only on their looks. I was date-ready in my blue skinny jeans, Deep red lower-neck top, Black boots and classic red lips. He seemed nervous when he welcomed me, but after an hour long conversation about Paris and Parisian life while touring the whole city, we become comfortable. It was watching the city with Parisian eyes. We had a great dinner in a very fancy restaurant. He complemented on my beauty. I smiled. Our thinking matched, we both were in favor of preserving our own cultures. We had similar thoughts on Love; we have to work on it, everyday. He admitted to be an emotional person, attached to family with Italian roots. I could imagine myself staring at him while he keeps on talking. Everything was falling on the right place. The prospects were promising. After dinner, We went to Montmarte to enjoy the bird’s eye view of Paris in night. And then we headed to my place. He asked my number, I dropped him a message. We reached, the moment stopped. He said “I know this is not the right place of me to ask but I like you so much, can I kiss you?” I was hoping something like that. I touched his cheek with my trembling hand and a helpless face. His lips touched mine, we made out like we belonged together. He started caressing my breasts, I can still feel the chills. I did not want either of us to stop and he wanted more. I came in to my senses; we were in the middle of the road. I told him I need to go, but we were inseparable.  Finally I left with a heavy heart and a promise of a second date next day. I messaged him as soon as i reached to my room. He was all over my mind. Well, I did not sleep the whole night.

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